Oct 9, 2016

The Pattern Gets Louder Until You Listen

Whatever pattern is trying to make itself known to you in your life, it will keep getting louder until you start paying attention to it.

Have you ever had a pattern repeatedly offered up to you to learn from, but as you ignored the initial warning signs, the pattern’s only option became making itself more apparent and in your face?

For example, the woman who attracts various partners whose lives are increasingly messy, eventually realizing she needs to start taking care of her own needs and discontinue saving other people from their messes.

Or the man who resents the career path that he has chosen… and only becomes more aware of his misalignment as his physical health deteriorates, his sleep suffers, and he starts projecting his frustration on to his friends and family members.

Or the woman whose husband continuously shows that he cannot meet her needs. First by emotionally retreating in conversations, then by being out of town more and more for work, and then by proverbially burying his head in the sand and pretending like there is nothing wrong in their marriage.

Or the man who miraculously only seems to be able to attract romantic partners who are already married, in relationship, or who live at least a five hour plane ride away… until he faces the fact that he is afraid of a truly intimate relationship.

Whatever pattern it is that you need to face in your life, it will keep coming back for you. Life has a way of forcing you to slam your head against the same brick wall, over and over, until you realize “Oh! This is a brick wall. I’m going to stop doing this now.”

What behavioural pattern do you need to shift in your life? What element of your life has been increasingly loud lately, in hopes that you will listen to it?

Maybe it’s time you listened. For your own sake.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
Dec 26, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
2016 was a massive year of growth for me. Many big wins and many big challenges. On the wins side... I helped more people this past year than I had cumulatively helped in my previous six years of coaching combined, I cultivated a deep sense of community for the first time in my adult life, I lived...
Continue Reading
How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life
Kelly woke up just as angry as she had been when she fell asleep. She rolled over and, letting out a sigh of relief, felt glad that her husband had already gotten up. Honestly, she didn’t want to see his face right now. Putting on her favourite pink slippers, she made her way downstairs...
Continue Reading
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
May 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner. - Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER), I promise to be gentle with you and your heart. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary...
Continue Reading
How To Overcome Depression Naturally
Nov 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Overcome Depression Naturally
For a good chunk of this past year, I was suffering with depression. Life felt thick and heavy. My motivation was at an all time low. I cried all the time. My parents were worried about me. One of my best friends passed away, I went through a challenging breakup, and I'm more genetically prone to depression...
Continue Reading
How To Let Someone Love You
Dec 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Let Someone Love You
Intimacy can be downright terrifying. I have had dozens of clients over the past few years who have described a sense of fear in allowing someone to see them emotionally. They feared getting close. They feared being comforted. They feared laying their heads down on their partner's chest because the...
Continue Reading
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
Mar 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
The fact that you exist is nothing short of a miracle. Your life is a gift. And how you live your life is your thank you letter to the universe. You can take your life for granted and live your life from a mindset of entitlement... or you can live from a place of gratitude paired with the intention...
Continue Reading