Feb 28, 2016

Wear The Sword Until You Can’t: A Life Philosophy

Once upon a time, in real life, there was a guy named William Penn.

William was a Quaker and also a nobleman, which led to a lot of conflicts in his personal values. As you may know, Quakers are committed pacifists (they oppose war, violence, and militarism). A symbolic conflict for him was that he was supposed to wear a sword as a part of his uniform for formal events. He wanted to honour the culture he was a part of while simultaneously honouring his personal value system.

He sought guidance from a Quaker elder who gave him some advice that put his heart at ease. He told William that he should simply “Wear the sword until you can’t.”

I love this parable because it can be applied to essentially every area of our lives whenever we’re feeling a sense of conflict or anxiety.

You Wear The Sword Until You Can’t

How many times have you been in early-stage relationships where you weren’t sure if you liked the person enough to continue dating them, while living in a sort of testing-each-other-out limbo? You wear the sword until you can’t. When your certainty around not being a fit with them outweighs your curiosity, then you end the relationship and go about your separate ways.

Or maybe you’ve been in a long-term relationship or marriage where you found yourself increasingly dissatisfied with the relationship. You don’t run at the first sign of uncertainty (‘Oh, this sword is a little heavy on my side…’) but rather when the weight, heaviness, and dissatisfaction of the relationship is wearing on you so much that it’s lowering your quality of life and you’ve done everything you can to try and remedy the situation. When the sword is starting to chafe through your skin and make you bleed, you take it off.

Or maybe you’ve discovered that the career path that you’ve committed to (because you were once entirely enthralled by the idea/reality of it) is no longer lighting you up. Not only is it not making you light up, but it’s making you miserable. It’s negatively impacting your sleep, your health, and your ability to focus. You wear the sword until you can’t. If it’s making your life a living hell, then you’re allowed to set the sword down and pick up something new.

We are not static, unchanging beings. Everything about the world is in a constant state of change, and to assume that we are any different is just the grasping of our ego, trying to make us feel special.

There will come a time in your life when things that once felt familiar, and lovely, and comfortable will no longer feel that way. Circumstances change. You change. And you’re allowed to change.

Whatever area of your life your mind is automatically applying this concept to, trust that you are allowed to put the sword down.

You are allowed to choose a new way.

You wouldn’t be a human being if you didn’t change your mind once in a while. And besides, you aren’t changing your mind. You were honouring yourself in that moment when you made your decision weeks/months/years ago, and now you are simply honouring yourself in this new moment, in order to serve this new version of you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Fire: A Meditation
Jan 4, 2019
Jordan Gray
Fire: A Meditation
All of my life, I have loved tending to fires. When I was a little boy, one of my grandparents owned a small cabin a couple hours drive from my hometown. In this cabin, there was a wood burning fireplace. When I was around the age of six, my dad taught me how to set up a proper fire, and I was immediately...
Continue Reading
Why You Should Make Time For The Things That Matter
Apr 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
Why You Should Make Time For The Things That Matter
There's a funny quirk when it comes to human behaviour and motivation... Most people will do anything to solve a deeply painful experience that they feel in the present moment, but very little to prevent that same event from entering their life in the future. But it is exactly these...
Continue Reading
Let Go Of Being At War With Yourself
Nov 11, 2018
Jordan Gray
Let Go Of Being At War With Yourself
If you ever have a difficult time receiving compliments… If you have a difficult time understanding why people like you, or are drawn to you… If you have a hundred excuses on the tip of your tongue as to why you can’t do the work you love, find your dream partner, or live a life that...
Continue Reading
8 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Masculine Energy
Jan 20, 2014
Jordan Gray
8 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Masculine Energy
Want to feel raw masculine energy coursing through your veins? Maybe you have an important date tonight. Maybe you have an important project to complete. Maybe you want to bring back the spark to the bedroom. Whatever your reason, levelling up your masculine energy is simple when you know...
Continue Reading
Stretch Your Opposites
Nov 16, 2018
Jordan Gray
Stretch Your Opposites
It’s easy to become complacent in life.  It’s easy to just go back to sleep and chronically neglect your growth edges. Laziness is our default. Psychological sleepiness plagues our world. Entropy is real. And if we aren’t consciously shaking up our routines every now and...
Continue Reading
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
Dec 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
When it comes to what women need in a relationship, men and women are at an emotional stalemate. We feel something lacking in our relationships. The majority of modern men aren't able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men. Women aren't opening because men aren't giving...
Continue Reading